Page 26
by windii
Summary: Kagome's grandpa is scary and it's his fault Misato fell through the well. She gets robbed, kidnapped and used as an item. How will she survive? And how is this a humor fic? SessOC
1. Demon Be Gone!

**Disclaimer: **By jiminy, I DO own Inuyasha – in my dreams apparently . . .

**A/N:** I was watching a few episodes of Inuyasha the other day when an idea popped into my head and I decided that Sesshoumaru-sama needs some luvin', baby! DON'T flame unless you want to fried, barbecued or grilled. And I'll warn you here that my grammar is definitely not the best – as English is not my native language. Review or something, yeah?

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**Page 26**

**Chapter 1: ****Demon Be Gone!**

It was doing it again.

Sesshoumaru glanced at the sword by his hip with a grim expression before lifting his eyes back towards the ancient tree as Tenseiga kept stirring in its scabbard.

"Ah, I see what you imply, Sesshoumaru-sama." Bokusenou remarked thoughtfully.

"What is causing it?" The Taiyoukai questioned icily, trying to ignore the sword's odd behaviour.

Bokusenou closed his eyes a moment, humming softly. "There are rumours swirling about the land. That Naraku is up to something big." Sesshoumaru growled angrily, clutching his hand around the rattling blade to keep it still – however, it did not work.

"When is that bastard _not_ up to something!" He grumbled. Even thinking about that lowlife had his blood boiling to a point where he couldn't almost control it.

"I'm afraid that this time it is something far more personal to both yourself and your half-brother, Inuyasha." Bokusenou explained carefully. Sesshoumaru waited patiently for the magnolia tree to continue. "If Tenseiga is acting in this manner, I do not doubt that Tessaiga is doing the same – they are, after all, the blades of the same youkai warrior, your Father. And only one thing can rouse the swords of heaven and earth is . . ."

". . .the sword of hell." Sesshoumaru finished for him. "Sou'unga."

"Correct." Bokusenou would've nodded if he wasn't a pretty magnolia tree. "The rumours tell that Naraku has lured Sou'unga from the deepest pit of hell with the help of a dark sorcerer whose existence has been unknown until this day. But apparently something went wrong when they tried to summon the sword."

Sesshoumaru let a smirk show. He should've known Naraku wasn't capable of doing anything properly. He was, of course, just a filthy hanyou. "Continue. I must know the fate of Sou-unga."

"Well, it seems that everything was on form until the sorcerer's power wavered and Sou'unga disappeared like smoke into thin air." The tree told him truthfully.

"Is it back in hell?"

Now Bokusenou would've shaken his head if he was not a pretty magnolia tree. "No, I'm afraid not. But it has gone missing somewhere in this world where it do not belong. Even I do not detect its ancient aura."

"How will I find it?" He asked quickly.

The tree blinked a few times and let the bark over his eyes sink into a frown. "Sou'unga ought not to be wielded, Sesshoumaru-sama. At all. You remember what nuisance it caused the last time Gokuryuuha was released. My forest was almost perished as well and I didn't like it." Bokusenou sounded irritated, which didn't clash prettily with his monotone personality.

In a second or so, Tokijin was out from its scabbard and dug into the bark on the right side of Bokusenou's 'face'. The youkai Lord did not look satisfied with the information he had thus far.

"How will I find it?" Sesshoumaru growled out from behind bared fangs.

Bokusenou gulped fearfully. "With a map."

"With a map . . ." He repeated slowly as he sheathed the evil blade. He suspected the tree must've gone mad from being a tree so long if all he could come up with was 'with a map'. Ridiculous! "What map? Where will I find it?"

But it seemed that Bokusenou would hear none of it. "Sou'unga must be sent to the underworld, Sesshoumaru-sama. I do not doubt your ability to control it, but it has a mind of its own and will seek to the hands of the most evil being. Sou'unga will want to join forces with Naraku."

"This is exactly why I must find it before him. Now where do I find the map?" Sesshoumaru enquired unfeelingly, giving the poor tree a frosty glare.

"You will send the sword back to where it belongs with the assistance of Inuyasha? For he will find out sooner of later . . ." Bokusenou said warily not to upset the dog demon any further. Nothing good could come out of it.

"Never." Was the stubborn answer from Lord Sesshoumaru. "The hanyou will be left out of this. It is _my_ duty to see that Sou'unga lands where it belongs."

"And where do YOU think it belongs, Sesshoumaru-sama? In your possession, perhaps?"

"That is not up to you to decide." He answered curtly, giving the tree a cold stare. "Where is the map? Where will I find it?"

Bokusenou sighed, knowing he was defeated in this verbal spar. "You will not find it . . . it will find you."

Sesshoumaru would not show through his mask that he was confused but he supposed that the wise magnolia tree knew otherwise. The Taiyoukai turned and marched away in the direction in which he came, because at the end of the path, his travelling companions were waiting for his return.

"And I suppose you have an idea when this incessant rattling Tenseiga is keeping will end?" He threw over his shoulder.

There was a pause. "When the map finds you. Farewell, Lord of the Western Lands. Sou'unga's fate rests in you."

Then he could no longer see the proud Taiyoukai.

X

The high-pitched tune of the Sponge Bob Theme woke her up in the middle of her stretched beauty sleep.

"'Ello . . ." Seiji Misato mumbled into the receiver of her cell phone, groping around the nightstand for the alarm clock which was supposed to wake her instead of Sponge Bob.

"Where the HELL are YOU?" A livid voice spat into her ear. "Do you have any FUCKING idea what TIME it is!"

She sat up like a bolt at the sound of her raging boss and scrambled to get a look at the time. "Oh no . . . Oh no, oh no . . . Holy shit, it's 10:30!" She banged her head against the bedpost and prayed to God she wasn't going to get fired.

"Yes! You got that RIGHT, Seiji." The man's wrath was like a pissed off lion. "You were s'posed to be at the office TWO hours ago. You fucking overslept . . . AGAIN!"

Misato cringed as she scuttled out of bed, tangled in pink sheets, to tug the curtains aside so she got a lovely view of the bright summer morning and a large Shrine yard bathing in sunlight. The Higurashi family was her new neighbours but she had yet to get to know them.

"I know, but I'm truly sorry, I swear! But I was having a _fantastic_ dream about Brad Pitt and me. We were dancing foxtrot on top of my brother's car naked-"

"Enough, Seiji. I really don't care if you would've dreamt about the bloody EMPEROR! This was the SIXTEENTH time you slept in, for Christ's sake!" He yelled aggravated.

She bit her lip as she hurried out of the bedroom in search of the bathroom, nearly tripping over some cardboard boxes that lay strewn in the hallway after she moved in a couple of weeks back. Still, the apartment was fairly foreign to her.

_Where the hell is the freaking bathroom?_ She thought panicking, wildly searching for the right door to enter.

"I should FIRE your damned ass . . ." Her boss continued screaming from the cell phone. ". . . But I WON'T, because no one else is willing to take the FUCKING job!"

"I wonder why . . ." Misato remarked sarcastically as she spotted the bathroom and planted down on the toilet seat with a plop. "Though it's not _my_ fault I'm late again. That little shit of an alarm clock isn't functioning properly, bossman. Honest!" She defended heatedly.

He growled menacingly from the other end of the line. "Then FIX it for fuck's sake. I don't care WHAT you do or HOW much it's gonna cost you, but this has GOT to be the LAST time you're late or I'm firing you. Seriously for once." Her boss barked angrily. "Drag your bony little butt over here in five minutes or I'm done with you. I WANT my coffee at NINE from now on."

Misato heard the unmistakably sound of a fist being thumped against a table and it left her gaping slightly. "Nine?" She repeated grimacing. Impossible . . . "I can't do that. I need at least thirteen hours beauty sleep, otherwise I'll get wrinkles! Do YOU want a secretary with wrinkles, hmm?"

There was a short silence in which Misato guessed he was actually thinking it over.

" . . . No." He answered.

"See, I told you so." She said with a bright smile.

"Be here in five minutes." He finally said. "Five. Not ten or fifteen, but five."

She scrunched up her face in thought. She'd never be able to get there in merely five minutes. He knew it, she knew it. But she answered with a happy "Okay!" anyways.

"Good."

"See you later, sweetheart!" She stuck up her middle finger at the cell phone as she faked an overly sugary voice.

"Heh heh. It's funny when you call me a sweetheart." He commented conversationally.

"Yeah. Absolutely side-splitting." She deadpanned and slammed the phone shut with a frustrated "ROOOAAARGH!"

As she hauled her tired body into the shower, she was still muttering about an 'evil, capslocky tyrant with a dry sense of humour' and decided to give her boss's mother a call later that day, intention being that she'd ask her why she gave birth to Satan himself.

By the time she was ready with her shower and clad in her official secretary's suit, the puny five minutes had passed long ago and she wandered off in search of the kitchen.

But, regrettably, the fridge stood quite empty (excluding a mouldy slice of pizza) and for the first time in months, Misato actually pondered why she had no food in there. She assumed that all her money went to clothes and bags and shoes and other stuff she loved more than food . . .

Now she needed to get to work faster than light or she would be barbecued. Misato sprinted out of the front door into the freshly green garden and spotted her means of transport that stood leaning against the fence; a shiny black motorcycle she had named Rex. It was her joy and pride, the love of her life and she adored it immensely.

She put on her helmet, started the engine and shot off towards the tall office building where the corporation that imported diapers resided at. Why she had chosen that job in the first place was way beyond her . . .

X

After Misato's working day was over and after she had been shopping and had stopped in the grocery store, she headed home with a nice plan to get to know her neighbours. She had parked Rex in its usual spot and skipped home, humming Jingle Bell Rock as she went.

She had thought this plan through carefully and even the little accident at work couldn't dampen her spirit.

Misato had unintentionally spilled her boss's coffee on his crotch in the middle of an important business meeting with other companies that imported diapers. He had started screaming like a girl and when he stood up, it looked as if he had wet himself. Misato had been the first to hurry out of the room and burst into laughter in the corridor.

She was still pondering why he hadn't fired her . . . probably because she was the only person dumb enough to be a useless secretary in a company that imported _diapers_.

Oh well, she sighed as she proceeded to change clothes; an impressing Versace summer dress; knee-length, spaghetti strapped and creamy light pink with frilly laces trimming the hem that clashed nicely with her light brown locks and rich brown eyes. It had cost her a fortune but she wanted to make an impact on her neighbours. What if the Higurashis had a really, really good-looking son in her age? She wouldn't mind some romance at the moment, for it was rather lonely living in a medium sized apartment with only a clown fish in a bowl to accompany her . . .

The cookies she had planned to give the Higurashi family were bought from the corner shop, because she admitted being a hopeless cook and would just have blown up the whole neighbourhood if she tried to bake something.

Half an hour later, she stood nervously outside their door, fidgeting with the plate of cookies in her hand. She had already envisioned the door being opened by a strong handsome hunkwho had just finished his shower and came to greet her in only a towel, dripping water. He wouldn't say much, just check her out and drag her inside so they could advance to have wild hot sex in the middle of his entrance hall . . .

A giddy giggle escaped her as she knocked on the door and waited.

_Oh shoot! No lip-gloss!_ She thought briefly and quickly applied some, before stuffing the tube back inside her Louis Vuitton designer bag (it was a copy, but everyone still thought it to be a real one).

She heard footsteps and the door opened (Misato plastered a sexy smirk onto her lips) and in front of her stood a short wrinkled excuse of a man. Her fantasy faded into nothingness, as did the sexy smirk as the two stared at each other in surprise.

"Um . . . You must be Mr Higurashi, I presume?" Misato remembered why she was there. Maybe that handsome guy was in the shower right NOW and this was his shrivelled grandfather? She really hoped so . . .

"Yes, I am. And who might you be?" He asked in a suspicious tone as he took in her clothes and the plate of cookies.

_He probably thinks I'm here to poison him._ Misato thought fleetingly.

"I'm Seiji Misato." She extended her hand politely and they shook hands. "Pleased to meet you."

He stared at her incredulously and then glanced at the ring on her middle finger in the hand he was shaking. Just then a pretty woman around thirty-five in age appeared behind the old chap and gave Misato a dazzling smile.

"Hello there. I'm Mrs Higurashi. I see you've met my Father?" She said kindly.

"Ah, yeah. I'm Seiji Misato from the new house built next to this Shrine." She clarified.

"Well, come on in; don't let my Father hold you for any longer." Mrs Higurashi opened the door wider and let Misato in.

As the door closed behind her, she heard Grandpa whisper "A suspicious nature, that one is," to Mrs Higurashi as they led her into their home.

"It's pleasant to get to know some neighbours around these parts." Mrs Higurashi pointed out as they entered the living room and Misato took a seat in the couch, putting the platter on the table in front of her.

"I believe you don't often get visited by neighbours then?" She asked and both of them shook their heads. "Well, I'm born in a small town in the west and we always used to visit the neighbours so I guess it just became a habit for me. Oh, I brought you some cookies too." She nudged the plate towards Grandpa with a smile.

He narrowed his eyes in suspicion. Her smile fell.

_Gee, what do I look like? Some sort of demon?_ She thought, hurt.

"That's nice of you. Would you like some tea to go with them?" Mrs Higurashi called as she ventured into the kitchen.

Misato told her yes. Where was that handsome son they hid upstairs? Couldn't he come and save her from this utterly embarrassing gathering?

"Do you know that the history of home-baked cookies reach way back in time to the–" Grandpa began.

"Father, bring Souta, please will you?" Mrs Higurashi's cut him off and Misato's eyes widened. "Souta is my son. My daughter Kagome is . . . at a friend's house at the moment, but I'm sure you'll see her around." She explained.

Yess! It was really happening! This Souta person was in the shower and would descend the stairs over there in only a towel, dripping water. He would lock Grandpa and Mrs Higurashi in the kitchen so he and Misato could have wild hot sex on the very couch she was sitting on! _Bad Misato, these people are really nice!_ She scolded herself mentally.

"Oh, that's fun." She replied and watched as Grandpa went upstairs, throwing mistrustful glances over his shoulder at her.

Mrs Higurashi arrived with the teapot on a tray and took a seat on the couch opposite to her.

"So, how long ago did you say you moved into the house?" Mrs Higurashi asked, making up with a conversation.

"Three weeks ago, but I've been awfully busy with furnishing the apartment so I haven't had time to come over sooner. This is a really nice neighbourhood; I like it especially with this Shrine. How old is it, do you know?" Misato questioned and she heard the unmistaken sound of footsteps descending the stairs.

"Around a thousand years. You should ask my Father; he knows more about it than any archaeologists do." Mrs Higurashi said and sipped her tea.

Misato was taking a sip herself when two persons appeared at the bottom of the staircase; Grandpa and ten-year-old boy. The tea she was drinking was suddenly sprayed all over her lap as she coughed and stared wide-eyed at Souta.

_Oh. My. God. I've been fantasising pervy sex scenes about a boy who's half my age!_ Misato wanted to punch herself. _I'm a paedophile!_ She set down the tea cup and smiled friendlily at the boy, trying hard not to think of any of the things she had planned to do with him . . .

_Gah!_

"This is Souta. Souta, this is Seiji Misato our new neighbour." Mrs Higurashi introduced them.

Souta noticed the cookies and attacked them. "Yum! Have you made this yourself, Miss Misato?" He asked between his munches.

Misato bit her tongue from deeply apologising to Souta for thinking kinky things about him. He was cute, but too young. She was NOT a paedophile, she decided. "Call me Misato. And no, they're bought from the corner shop. I would've baked some myself, but I didn't have much time." She explained with a little white lie and glanced at Grandpa.

_Ha! Take that, old man. Bought cookies can't be poisoned!_ She grinned to herself.

He seemed to consider this and took one to eat with his tea. "I shall tell you the history of purchased cookies." And a boring story followed, during which Misato was afraid she'd fall asleep. Souta actually did fall asleep, but his mother prodded him awake.

And just when Misato started patting her back for an evening gone well, the unforeseen happened.

Grandpa was taking a large bite of his chocolate chip cookie, but suddenly started choking.

"Mr Higurashi? Are you alright?" Misato asked gently, setting her teacup down on the table as a ghastly feeling stirred in her abdomen. He was choking and turning slightly purple when Misato realized what was really happening. "Good grief, he's suffocating!"

Mrs Higurashi and Souta looked at her as she sprang up from her seat and scrambled behind Grandpa to get a strong grip around his middle. She performed the Heimlich manoeuvre and with a gurgle, the cookie piece flew out of his throat and landed square on Souta's forehead.

The first words to escape the panting man's mouth were; "I knew it! You are a DEMON who is here to devour us all! No other young lady would VISIT her neighbours without a CRUEL intention! I felt your EVIL spirit the moment I lay my eyes on you!"

Misato, Mrs Higurashi and Souta gaped at the standing senior who pointed an accusing finger at Misato.

_Note to self,_ Misato thought with a grimace, _never ever bring food when visiting new neighbours: they will think you are only there to kill them . . ._

"I . . . What?" She raised her carefully trimmed eyebrows.

Grandpa jumped back from her and picked up three rectangular paper bits that held prehistoric spells from his ancestors for demon extermination. He started chanting furiously with his eyes closed and hands clapped together in front of his chest.

_What's going on?_ Misato thought panicking and had to scoot away from the crazy fossil when he dashed forward to tower over her and waved the paper bits over her head.

"Stop this nonsense, Father!" Mrs Higurashi was also on her feet and tried to drag Grandpa away from the frightened young woman who was watching wide-eyed at her father. "I'm so sorry; he is obsessed with demons and magic and such. I apologise on his behalf!" She explained as she pushed him out of the room. He was still chanting and humming something insane.

Misato nodded slowly as she too got up. It was time for her to leave. And she could kiss that 'evening gone well' goodbye. This was a catastrophe! She would never be able to look at the Higurashis in the face again for the rest of her pitiful life!

"You should probably leave, Miss Misato. It takes a while until he calms down." Mrs Higurashi hung her head sadly.

"Yeah . . ." Misato agreed as the two of them headed for the door. "Bye Souta!"

"Bye!"

Souta was over the whole incident and sat by the television playing his Xbox like this was an everyday event in his life.

"Oh I'm sorry once again. I should thank you from the bottom of my heart for this. You saved his life and I'm sure he realizes that as well when he comes around."

"Um . . . It's okay. I'm still in a bit of shock with everything happening so fast – it's a bit overwhelming really." Misato said with a smile. "Thanks for the lovely evening – apart from that . . . y'know."

"Yes, yes. Would you like a tour around the Shrine? We could talk a little without him being there chanting spells." Mrs Higurashi tilted her head to the side and Misato nodded. Maybe she could save the day after all, if anything else didn't happen during the tour.

The sun was almost setting as they walked around the courtyard; Mrs Higurashi was explaining a lot of interesting facts about the Shrine and the well house where a Bone Eater's Well dwelled in. Misato had always liked history in school (though she was not a fanatic like Grandpa Higurashi).

"How old are your children?" Misato asked as they rounded the Goshinboku and set towards the well house.

"Souta is turning ten and Kagome is fifteen." Mrs Higurashi answered.

CRASH!

"Oh dear. It's Souta again." Mrs Higurashi rubbed her temple. "Could you wait for a moment?"

"Yes, of course." Misato nodded and sighed the second she was out of sight. It wasn't too embarrassing – only slightly. Grandpa hated her, Souta was indifferent and Mrs Higurashi was welcoming because she was a kind person. They all thought she was a complete loser with no life if she bothered to visit her neighbours, I mean come on; who does that anyways?

From the corner of her eye she could see Grandpa disappearing into the well house. And now he was probably planning to attack her. She rolled her eyes.

Misato figured she should beat him to it and slinked into the dark hut after him.

"Are you in here, Mr Higurashi?" She questioned as she came to stand beside the well. "I just wanted to apologise and I honestly wasn't trying to kill you. I swear I'm no demon!" She laughed uneasily. Something about that place was seriously creeping her out.

She dared to look inside the shadowy abyss of the well. Strange. A draft blew from the black depth and caressed her tanned face.

"Demon BE GONE!" A voice yelled into her ear, starling her half to death and making her lose her footing.

Misato shrieked as she tumbled over the edge of the well into the dark pit of nothingness.

Grandpa stared dumbly after her. He looked into the well and blinked several times.

There was nothing there.

"Father?" Mrs Higurashi appeared at the entrance to the well house. "Did you see where Miss Misato went?"

"The demon? Oh, she fell down into the well." He explained with a grin. Mrs Higurashi froze.

"WHAAAAAT?"

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**A/N:** Was it good? Bad? Average? Crazy? Stupid? Strange? Boring? Is Misato an okay character or do you think she is totally obnoxious or something? Please tell me your opinion in a review (no flames though . . .)! Thanks for reading and stay tuned for the next chapter!


	2. The Three Stooges

**Disclaimer:** Is Inuyasha mine? No, I'm afraid not. Though I wouldn't mind . . . Honestly!

**A/N:** Here's the second chapter, y'all! Thanks to Neo Genesis1 and DarkAngelPearl for being my first reviewers! Peaches to you guys! Hope you and the rest enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. And again I aplogise for the bad grammar . . .

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**Page 26**

**Chapter 2: The Three Stooges**

Her head was throbbing like she had the worst hangover in mankind history, but funnily enough, she couldn't remember drinking or partying. And her butt hurt like she had landed on pointy rocks . . . which she had, now that she got a closer inspection. How the hell had she landed here? . . . Oh, yeah . . .

The chaotic evening at the Higurashis came back to her, accompanied with a worried frown. Looking back, she could remember Grandpa Higurashi being slightly scary . . . Make that bloodcurdlingly scary.

It was HIS fault her rear felt like a bunch of torpedoes had missed their target and went for her ass instead.

"Uhggh . . . I feel like I fell down a mile long well . . . Oh, yeah. You did, silly." She grumbled as she hauled herself up from the soil and glanced up.

It was sunny, she noted with a wince. She must've been out cold for quite some time now if it was morning already. And –

"Sodding shit!" She slapped herself dumbly as she stared at her digital wristwatch. "10:29. Great. I'm late again."

At least she hadn't 'overslept' this time. This time she had been unconscious, like really knocked out, more like. But she had a feeling her boss wouldn't forgive her quite in the same manner he had in the past. He really was a bona fide prick, after all. Though she doubted he would manage to hire another secretary after her . . . since the job wasn't particularly popular.

She thought she should give him a call but after checking her cell phone for a signal, it seemed as the whole device was dead around here. _Maybe I shouldn't have saved that crazy grandpa from choking. He knew I fell in here and he couldn't even heave me up for pete's sake,_ Misato scowled.

But for now she had to get out of that hellish hole Grandpa had made her topple in to. It was hard work, but Misato climbed up by the help of strong vines that grew on the walls of the well.

Then she noticed something else.

"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore . . ." She whistled amazed as she stared around at the beautiful scenery. The Shrine was no where in sight. Neither were the office blocks of modern Tokyo. No cars, no shoe shops, no restaurants, no fast-food chains, no buildings at all.

Instead a view filled with trees, bushes and grass was all around her. She could even hear birds chirping and frogs quacking nearby, which in itself was rare in a big city.

_This is unbelievable . . ._ Misato stared at everything around her as she wandered aimlessly in one direction, her mouth forming a small 'o' in astonishment. At least ten years had passed since she last saw such a pure looking environment and it dumbfounded her. _Oh, I wish I had my camera!_ She puffed out dreamily as she circled around a very chunky tree.

A twig snapped and she spun around to face a big bush she could faintly hear chatter from.

"Who's there?" Misato called out tentatively. "Better not be anything dangerous or I'm digging out my pepper spray!" Okay, so she had no pepper spray in her bag, but a little bluff was allowed in an alien place where all she had for protection was a couple of squirrels and a few birdies.

The bush shook violently and two scantily clad men stepped out. They were having a conversation.

"He said it was around here?" One asked the other.

"Yeah, but I don't see it . . ." The other answered.

Misato blinked.

Then blinked again.

"Uhh." She managed intelligently. "Hi."

The duo stopped in their tracks and ceased their talking. Their eyes went huge at seeing her and they seemed rather appalled by the sight of her; a summer dress, a designer bag, sandals with pencil-slim heels and fluffy curls of light brown hair framing her face.

"Good morning, gentlemen. Any idea where I can find the nearest telephone booth?" She asked politely once she got her voice back. The two of them were wearing mainly armour and fur on their bodies; one had a punk hairdo when the other had a grey wig or something. They didn't seem very up to date to her.

They stared at her as if she was talking some sort of gibberish.

Misato frowned. "The telephone booth, please? Where can I find one?"

"It's a weird looking human. Is she searching for a shard?" One whispered to the other, although Misato heard him quite well.

"I think so. Check out those bizarre clothes!" The punk answered excitedly. "Maybe she has a shard! We could beat her up and take it from her and then give it to Kouga!"

Misato's arched her eyebrows.

"Or maybe, we could tie her up and wait for Kouga so he can beat her into a pulp and take the shard she's hiding!" The wig person explained enthusiastically as the other nodded vigorously.

"Yeah! Let's do that!" The other answered and they turned to her with innocent expressions.

Misato backed a step with a grimace. Those innocent looks were the most horrid sight she'd seen so far in her life.

"We know where a tepelhone is!" The punk lifted a clawed finger cleverly and elbowed his comrade in his side.

_I don't think so._ Misato wasn't very convinced after hearing their little 'plan'. She was glaring at the pair with her hands on her hips as if she was a scolding mother who had just caught her children red handed at the cookie jar.

"It's a telephone, bimbo." She narrowed her eyes. "And I know what you're scheming. But you try it and I'll Judo Chop you."

"Judo -"

"- Chop?" Dumb and dumber scratches their heads and decided it sounded dangerous for their stances turned defensive in a flash. "Bring it on, human girl, bring it on!"

"Watch me, I will!" Misato showed them some impressive kung fu moves she'd seen on TV and left them trembling in fear (or so she thought). She never took notice of the words 'human girl'. _You go, girl, show 'em how to kick major butt!_ She congratulated herself mentally.

"We are the wolf demon tribe leader Kouga's right and left hand men!" They cried together as they punched the air and kicked the breeze in front of Misato who was left gaping like a fish on dry land. _By golly, these dudes have practised! _She thought momentarily.

"I am Kibimori Hakkaku!" The punk gave the air a black eye and settled into a nice Charlie's Angels ending posture.

"I'm Akubo Ginta!" The wig kicked the breeze's balls and landed beside his pal, both crossing their arms over their chest at the same time.

"And you don't stand a chance against us!" They said together as they tilted their noses arrogantly.

Misato said nothing. These fellows looked pretty dodgy, if not downright dangerous. And she still hadn't figured out the mystery with their odd clothes. The fur looked real enough, but she didn't know a single country where men dressed like THAT; like some kind of man whores . . .

"What the fuck are you two morons up to now?" A masculine voice interrupted their confrontation and the duo along with Misato turned towards the newcomer.

It was a very handsome young guy, she noticed instantly, with abs like an ActionMan doll. Though he was clothed similarly to the two knuckleheads, she didn't mind seeing quite a lot of his tanned body (unlike with the others). His black hair was tied up in a pony tail and his crystal blue eyes surveyed her from top to toe as he leaned against a tree nearby.

"She is hiding a Shikon shard!" Ginta pointed at her accusingly.

"Yeah! We were trying to beat her and make her give it to us!" Hakkaku agreed with another pointing finger in her face.

"What's a Shikon shard?" Misato couldn't resist asking. This guy could be her knight in shining armour and he'd save her from these two lunatics! She could already envision herself being carried off in his strong arms to his faraway castle and he would buy her every Gucci shoe in the world . . .

"You carry a shard, woman?" The blue-eyed man asked, walking towards the group – and Misato noticed something strange hanging from his ass . . . a TAIL! "You smell funny, human. That must mean you have one. Give me it!" He demanded bossily.

She blinked at him in shock. This _man _had a _tail_.

"So CUTE!" She giggled girlishly and rounded him to get a good look at his tail. Kouga stepped back from her, almost choking on his tongue. "Is it _real_? Oh. My. God: It is!" She yanked it curiously and made him yelp in pain and dash away from her.

Now he was just angry.

"Give me the shard or I'll take it by force!" He growled, baring sharp fangs.

"Kouga . . . !" Hakkaku and Ginta said in awe, but they were both glancing around in anxiousness, as if something was about to burst out from the bushes around them.

"Kagome wouldn't be happy to hear you talk like that to a human . . ." Ginta warned as he and Hakkaku huddled closer together. Misato whirled around to face them with large eyes.

Something was telling her that her beginning neighbourhood-ship with the Higurashi family would help her out of this and Misato had never distrusted that sense.

"Hang on a minute before you do a body search or whatever!" She lifted a finger into the air in front of the trios' noses. "I haven't got the faintest idea what you're babbling about, but apparently you're going to rob me. And you mentioned Kagome. I know Kagome! _Higurashi_ Kagome, right?" But what was Kagome doing in a place like this? Had her own grandpa scared her half to death and thus made her trip into the well in the same manner Misato had?

Kouga's blue eyes widened.

"You – you're acquainted with Kagome?" He asked suspiciously. "How?"

"She lives right next door to me, darling." She clarified, shaking the finger back and forth before his face. "I've never met her, but I've met her mother, brother and grandfather. They're really nice. Although I admit that her grandpa is slightly intimidating–"

Kouga snatched her hand in midair and held it in a vicelike grip. His eyes gazed at her ring in fascination until he slid it off her finger before Misato had anything to say in the matter.

"I knew it. I knew you had one!" Kouga cackled devilishly.

"What – Excuse me, that's _my_ ring." Said Misato persistently, extending her hand with the palm upwards. "Give it back, please."

"A shard . . ." She heard Hakkaku and Ginta breathe as they too gazed at it in interest.

Misato tried to grab it back, but Kouga curled his fist around it protectively and held his hand out of her reach.

"That's no damn _shard_ or what the heck – it's a gift from my crush, Asukai Jiro, if you must know. And I would appreciate it if you handed it back, dimwit. It has a lot of sentimental value." Misato huffed shyly. Oh yes, it had a LOT of sentimental value, all right.

Jiro was the real love of her life and ever since junior high school she had been quite smitten with him. Nowadays he worked in the building opposite of her job house – NOW she remembered why she had chosen the job :) – but unlike her, he was a successful manager to a famous rock band. She saw him sometimes during their lunch breaks and the tale involving the ring was from her school times. He had given it to her on Valentine's Day (he had given every girl a ring on that day), but she thought hers was more special. Unfortunately, Jiro considered them as _very good friends_ only. The nightmare of every woman in love.

And now back to the present, Misato mused with a shake of her head as the boy started talking.

"Don't pretend to so oblivious, girl. Everyone in the country is hunting these shards and I wouldn't doubt you being one of them." Kouga taunted. "I mean, look at this . . ." He lifted her arm and poked at her tiny muscle with a one claw. "I bet you wouldn't mind having a bit of the jewel's power for yourself, eh."

She tore away from his grasp and frowned, having no idea what the maniac what talking about. "I beg your pardon! I like my physique as it is, thank you very much." Misato replied arrogantly, tipping her chin higher. "And that ring is just as ordinary as I am, so hand it back or you'll regret the day you were born."

"Are you threatening me?" He narrowed his eyes furiously.

"Yes! Yes, I am!" Misato challenged his furious glare with a matching one.

"Well, what are you going to do about it? Glare me to death?" Kouga mocked and ducked as Misato's Louis Vuitton bag came hurtling at his head. Apparently he had pissed her off as much as she had him.

"I can say with a 100 per cent confidence that I disliked you the very moment I met you,savage!" She bellowed with her cheeks tinted pink as usually when she lost her temper.

All she ever wanted was the directions to the nearest local telephone! And now look at her; here arguing with a scantily clad guy about her stupid ring when they could be kissing instead. Misato wanted to cry . . . but didn't, because she was no crybaby (at least not that often). _This is robbery_; she decided angrily and lowered her eyebrows.

Kouga glared at her and looked as if he had the urge to gut her with his bare claws. That bloody bag had nearly bonked his head off his shoulders . . .

"Fine!" She declared finally. "You take it then. But I'll make sure to report this to the first police officer I meet and don't even think about hiding. I know how you look like and I will tell them! You're going down, hoes!"

If he was a thief; he was a really brainless one. Here she waltzed around with a fake Louis Vuitton bag filled with goods such as a cell phone, a wallet, Dior lipgloss, Chanel sunglasses, socks, condoms, tampons and a nearly empty pack of cigarettes and keys to her apartment which was filled with even more expensive stuff! Hello? Was he the third knucklehead in their raiding band of thieves? Apparently so, but he had seemed smarter than the other two.

Kouga looked at her oddly after hearing her statement. Did he realize his stupidity and now wanted to steal her purse as well? Oh crap . . . "You're planning something, aren't you, bitch?"

Misato gasped in outrage . . . "BITCH? How dare you? Didn't your mother teach you any manners?" She flung her handbag at him again, but with an unnatural speed he leaped out of the way. "Oh, I'll show you what this bitch is made of, you impolite retard!"

She attacked him again, but somewhere in between her fit of fury, Kouga had given Ginta and Hakkaku the order to tie her up and a few moments later, she stood with her back against a tree with vines encircling both her and the tree. There was no way out of it. She tried and tried and shrieked and shrieked as Kouga and his companions looked at their handiwork with satisfaction.

"Heh heh." Kouga guffawed. "Now you aren't able to go through with your plan to steal back the Shikon shard, wench."

"What plan? I had no plan, for heaven's sake!" Misato wailed as she struggled with the vines. There was always another way to approach this situation . . . "If you are thinking about sexually harassing me; it's not gonna work like this, sugar. I admit it's kinky, but I prefer being the one tying _you_ up against a tree, baby. " She smirked and a dimple showed in her cheek.

Kouga, Ginta and Hakkaku ogled at her in horror.

"So what do you think? Shall we try it the other way around, hmm?" She gave him a wink and almost pissed on herself at the sight of their frightened faces. Soon she wouldn't be able to hold her laughter. And by the looks of it, Misato guessed it wasn't common for women to flirt in this place. What a pity.

Kouga walked up to her with a pondering expression. "Are you a whore?" He asked as if it was asking about the weather.

Misato shrieked again in rage and struggled to get loose and strangle him. "I AM NOT, you rotten mother fucker! YOU are the prostitute around here; walking around in hairy underwear and daring to ask me if I'M a _hooker_! When I get my hands on you I'll–"

Kouga transformed into a whirlwind before her eyes and sprinted off in the opposite direction of which he came. Hakkaku and Ginta glanced at each other and ran after him.

"Kouga! Wait for us!" They yelled.

"WAIT!" Misato called after them in panic. "Oi, you can't just leave me here . . . all alone! It's very rude to turn your back on a girl, didn't you know? What if I get harassed by an ogre – Oh, in the name of all that is holy . . .Screw YOU! I'm gonna sue you, I'll sic the S.W.A.T-team after you and we'll see how fast you're running with bazookas shoved up your asses!"

She continued screaming her throat hoarse as she watched the Three Stooges disappear into the forest.

X

Her shouting grew faint as the wolf trio spurted ahead towards Kaede's village in search of Kagome and her friends. Their business was urgent, but Kouga's nose had told him that a certain dog boy was already on his way to greet them . . . Probably waving Tessaiga around like a hooligan, slicing everything in his way.

But if he made the smallest scratch on Kagome, Kouga swore to kill him in the most painful way.

As they arrived at the village, the familiar group was already running towards them, waving happily (except Inuyasha, of course). Kouga hurried to Kagome and took her small hands in his.

"Kagome, I have missed you very much. Have you missed me?" He asked gently and squeezed her hands softly.

Kagome blushed somewhat and Inuyasha growled lowly. "Ah, well . . . Of course I did, Kouga-kun. It's always nice seeing other friends now and then." She smiled broadly as she tried to fidget her hands out of his grasp. Inuyasha stepped between then, thus breaking the contact and smirked smugly at the wolf demon.

"She isn't interested in _you_, wimpy wolf, so get out of her face!" He crossed his arms over his chest arrogantly as Kouga started growling and took a battling position. Miroku, Sango and Shippou rolled their eyes, knowing what was ahead.

"I think I'm psychic." Miroku commented casually as the three stood in a row and watched the familiar scene unfurl. "I know exactly what is going to happen next."

"Then you're not the only one, Houshi-sama." Sango stroked Kirara's head and nodded slowly.

"Kouga's gonna punch Inuyasha, isn't he?" Shippou joined their conversation as he was sitting on Miroku's shoulder and shaking his head at the two boys fighting over Kagome.

SMACK!

Inuyasha got a hard punch in his face, but he was soon attacking back and a fight unfolded in front of them. Kagome was standing by her bicycle, her eye twitching. "Knock it off, you guys . . ." She sighed, but no one paid her any attention.

"Right you were, Shippou." Miroku was also shaking his head sadly at them all. "You know what? I could make money on this; it's just like a gamble. What say you, Sango? Have the guts to place a bet on one to win?" He dug his money purse from his robes and jingled it in front of Sango's face with a huge mischievous grin on his handsome face.

She slapped his hand away. "Houshi-sama! Inuyasha's our friend; you shouldn't go betting – Ouch, that must've hurt – anything on him! What do you think he'd say if you were using him like this to try and earn money?" She said absentmindedly, looking both Inuyasha and Kouga receiving strikes.

"'Hell yeah, I'll beat Kouga into a bloody pulp and make you filthy rich'?" Miroku guessed with a shrug. "C'mon, Sango. He won't find out . . . I promise."

Shippou was too busy watching the fight to pay attention to the grown-ups. So were the two wolf demons, Hakkaku and Ginta.

"But Kagome would get upset. Although it looks like she's daydreaming – Oh, what the heck." Sango sighed and dug her money purse out as well.

"I know you couldn't resist a challenge . . ." Miroku remarked haughtily.

"Shut it, Houshi-sama – GAH! PERVERT!"

She thwacked him with Hiraikotsu.

Kagome was in a major mental dilemma at the moment. If she would 'Sit' Inuyasha, he'd never forgive her and she'd make him seem like a loser in front of Kouga, but how else was she going to stop this silly fight over her? Oh gods, this was NOT why they had ran to meet with the wolf youkai! She had –

"You have a new Shikon shard, Kouga-kun?" She asked, interrupting their fight. Inuyasha froze and therefore got a particularly tough blow into the side of his face, because he was no longer paying heed to the wolf but was instead gazing at Kagome like she had declared an undying love to Naraku.

"He has?" The rest of Kagome's companions questioned in a perplexed choir.

She walked up to Kouga and pointed at his finger where a very feminine ring curled around his pinkie. "I think it's the one I sensed earlier, Inuyasha. The one which appeared from the direction of the well." She explained, giving Inuyasha a quick warning glance. She thought it would be best if she handled this situation, since the demons would only battle.

Inuyasha punched Kouga and made him stagger back. "What was THAT for, you mangy pile of dog shit?"

"Give the shard to Kagome or I'll punch you again, wimpy wolf!" He snarled and waved a fist before his nose.

Kagome sighed irritably and stepped between the two bickering males. Glancing over her shoulder at Inuyasha, she whispered to him, "Calm down, Inuyasha. Maybe he has a good reason to have a new shard, who knows? Let _me_ take care this if you're just going to act like your normal self and think with your fists instead of your brain." She turned to a smirking Kouga. Oh, of course he had heard it. She forgot about the super senses these youkais possessed . . .

Inuyasha growled at the sight of his rival's smirk, but before he could act upon his violent cravings, Kagome clapped a hand over his mouth.

"Why do you have a new shard, Kouga-kun?" She enquired politely, smiling like an angel.

Kouga wanted to melt. "I was coming to see you and ask if I could borrow a shard because Ayame is kidnapped by the Mountain Cats," A collective gasp went through the crowd, "I made a promise to save her and I need more powers to defeat all those smelly furballs!" He drawled angrily, feeling like punching something once again. Like Inuyasha for an instance.

Kagome's eyes were glimmering and she had her hands clapped together over her heart. "That's SO romantic! You're her hero!"

Inuyasha quickly dragged her behind him because of the look Kouga was sending her. But then Kouga had the advantage of acting upon HIS violent cravings and hit Inuyasha square in his face, making the dog demon cuss wildly as he stumbled to get revenge (Miroku covered Shippou's ears to prevent him from hearing such foul words). Kagome was dragging Inuyasha back by his red haori and rolling her eyes to the sky.

"What did you do THAT for, you fucking wimpy stinky fleabag?" Inuyasha yelled aggravated, trying to get free from Kagome's grip.

Kouga shrugged. "Felt like it."

"Aren't we s'posed to be talking about the new Shikon shard Kouga has?" Sango pointed out suddenly.

Kagome nodded. "Exactly. Now stop your childish squabbling. Where did you get it from then, Kouga-kun?" She asked, once again moving in front of Inuyasha and becoming sort of a human shield, tough it worked both ways; preventing both demons from attacking each other.

He shrugged indifferently. "I got it from a human wench in the forest. A strange looking thing, she was. But definitely up to nothing good; wandering around a forest in foreign clothing, speaking weirdly and carrying a Shikon shard! So we tied her to the Goshinboku." He folded his arms over his chest and tilted his nose up into a cocky angle. He made sure to tell Kagome he hadn't hurt her.

"Foreign clothing? Like Kagome-sama's?" Miroku pondered out loud.

Kouga nodded slightly. "Yes. Same outlandish fabric." He glanced at the sky and noted the sun's position. "I must take my leave, Kagome. Ayame must be saved. Later!" And he shot off in a tornado with Ginta and Hakkaku running after him and screaming for him to wait.

Kagome, Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango, Kirara and Shippou exchanged worried looks. It sounded as if some future girl had come through the well with the help of a Shikon shard ring and was now tied to the Goshinboku. Dear merciful God. What was this all about?

"Let's go!"

* * *

**A/N:** Um . . . Okay, I don't know what to think about this chapter, so you'll have to tell me was it good or did it suck? Though this chapter was just building the plot and I know there was no Sesshoumaru goody innit, but just wait. He'll appear again soon enough in all his holy sexiness. Thanks for reading! Review pretty please?


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